First, the official definition! The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires people to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

Now in my words: I believe you have every answer you need within you. I believe you were born with a “soulprint” - a blueprint that lives in your soul that already knows the design for your happiest and most fulfilling life. My job as a coach is to help you clear out everything that’s getting in the way of you accessing that soulprint and living your life according to its plan.

From fears/limiting beliefs, to ingrained self-defeating patterns, to external expectations (family, culture, religion, social circles, etc.), there’s a whole hidden (or sometimes not so hidden) world that pulls us away from who we truly are and what we truly want.

Using thought-provoking questions, and fun tools I learned in my training (the Living Space tool, the Metaphor Tool, Dream Analysis, and more!), I’ll help you reconnect with your soulprint and develop a path that leads back to it. I’ll also help you stay accountable to that path so you make the forward movement your heart desires.

Whether you have a specific goal in mind - like starting a business…changing jobs…or moving on from a relationship…

…or your goal is more broad - like dealing with your doubts and fears as an entrepreneur…finding your spark again…feeling alive and actualized…or just figuring out who you are and where you’re going…

…I can help you get there!

Because the goal of coaching is to help you move ever closer to your highest potential and happiest life, you can benefit from it at any time!

My professional training is based on a framework called, The Change Cycle, which was developed by Dr. Martha Beck and her husband at the time. What they noticed was that all life transitions followed a similar pattern and they described it using 4 squares. Below is a description of each square and how I can help you in each stage.

Square 1: The Catalytic Event
In square one, something throws our life into a transition. It could be something good - like a new job, a marriage, or a big new client…or it could be something difficult - like a health crisis, losing a job, or losing a loved one. It can also be a transition - like deciding to go back to school or starting an entirely new career. Whether it’s good, bad, expected, or unexpected, the common thread is that the event changes our lives in a way that causes us to redefine who we are.

The mantra of Square 1, as described by Martha Beck, is “I don’t know what the hell is going on, and that’s ok.” Our life is thrown into chaos and it feels like we’re a rowboat on the open ocean without a compass.

How I Help in Square 1
The only way out of Square 1 is through it. And getting through it requires two things: grieving your old life and dealing with the self-defeating thoughts that are sure to arise in the process. Those thoughts keep us stuck, drain our energy, and prevent us from moving forward with confidence.

And yes, that even happens when the change is good! For example, you might be hugely excited that you landed that big new client, but also feel sad about the extra time and resources it will take to service them.

As your coach, I’ll create a safe and empathetic space for you to grieve your old life, and I’ll help you work through the thoughts that increase your suffering, such as “I’ll never be ok again”, “What if I fail and fall flat on my face”, or any of the myriad thoughts we all face when we experience change.

I’ll use tools that help you loosen the grip those self-defeating thoughts have on you, and I’ll help you access and embody more empowering thoughts so you can move forward.

Square 2: Dreaming and Scheming
Once you’ve moved through Square 1, ideas will start popping into your head about what your new life could be. At first you may have a lot of different ideas and dreams that start to formulate. They’ll be like white puffy clouds floating in the sky above you. But as you move through Square 2, some of those ideas and dreams will start to take shape. You’ll pull them from the sky and bring them down to earth and start creating a plan or a “scheme” to make them reality.

The mantra of Square 2 is, “There are no rules and that’s ok.” The map, or rules, you followed in your old life is no longer useful and you don’t yet have a map for your new life. This phase is all about imagining what could be!

How I Help in Square 2
My job as your coach in Square 2 is to help you dream big! As your coach, I’ll use tools that help you tap into your creativity and imagination, and dream without rules. In Square 2, there’s no such things as, “that’s not realistic” or “that’s not possible”. We blow the doors wide open! I’ll also help you dream from a place that’s in alignment with your soul so that whatever you create in your next life phase is a reflection of who you are at your core and what you truly want.

As you move through Square 2 and decide on the dream you want to follow, I’ll help you create a plan to move forward.

Square 3: The Hero’s Saga
Square 3 is where the rubber meets the road. It’s what Joseph Campbell called “The Hero’s Journey” after he realized that every movie, every myth, and every legend throughout every culture follows the same pattern. In essence, the hero gets a calling and then has to walk the “Road of Trials” toward her destiny. She fights a number of battles, faces her own inner demons, loses hope, finds hope, and eventually prevails!

The mantra of Square 3 is, “This is harder than I thought, and that’s ok.” In the beginning of Square 3, you set out on your plan that you developed in Square 2…and more than likely, it doesn’t work. You meet unexpected challenges, fear and doubt creep in, and things take twice as long and cost twice as much than you ever expected.

How I Help in Square 3
It’s so easy to quit in Square 3. It’s so easy to get discouraged and get stuck. It’s so common to look back on your old life with rose colored glasses, and wish you could go back to it. But that’s your mind playing tricks on you and without the right support, you may fall for it.

My job as your coach in Square 3 is to help you keep moving forward. Sometimes that might mean going back to our Square 1 tools and dealing with thoughts that are holding you back. Sometimes that may mean going back to Square 2 and creating a new dream, if for example, you get into Square 3 and decide you don’t really want to be a financial advisor or in a relationship or live in New York. Or sometimes it just means staying in Square 3 with the same dream, revising the plan, and trying again. I’ll help you navigate the “Road of Trials” and the inner demons you meet so that you can reach your destiny!

Square 4: The Promised Land
You did it! You stuck it out through Square 3 and now the ball is rolling! Your dreams are becoming your reality and momentum is on your side! In Square 4, you can relax a bit more and enjoy the results of your hard work. Your goal is Square 4 is to just stay on track, make small adjustments as needed, and to enjoy yourself while recognizing that change is constant.

In fact, the mantra of Square 4 is, “Change is here and that’s ok.”

How I Help in Square 4
My job as a coach in Square 4 is twofold. First, it’s to help you stay in flow. I’ll help you work through the everyday challenges that are part of life so that they don’t weigh you down or stop you in your tracks. That might be helping you deal with a difficult employee or co-worker…helping you design a new program in your business…or helping you cut overwhelm during the holidays or the busy summer months. Anything that’s creating rapids and preventing smooth sailing!

My second job in Square 4 is to help you answer this question: How can I make this even more fun? You’ve got your butterfly wings; now let’s start adding colors! In our coaching sessions, I’ll help you dream and scheme about how you can make your time in Square 4 even richer, more vivid, more vivacious, more meaningful, and more fulfilling!

While every client is different and I can’t guarantee specific outcomes, my clients often report the following benefits:

• Greater Clarity: Clarity is like having a compass. When we’re confused, we don’t know which way to go and we can’t move forward. Our mind just spins on various scenarios and we stay stuck. That confusion may be around what we want, what we don’t want, what to do, how we feel, why we feel a certain way, or a myriad of other topics. It’s only when we get clear that we can take action toward our happiest life and highest potential.
• Moving Forward Faster: Because coaching helps people find clarity, they are able to move toward their goals with greater speed. Instead of wasting time spinning, questioning, and second guessing, they take action. Sometimes that might be taking action on a fully fleshed out plan that we’ve developed together, and sometimes it might just be taking the next step that feels right, even if you don’t know exactly where you’re headed yet. Either way, you’re building momentum and making positive forward movement, rather than staying stuck and going nowhere!
• More Confidence: There’s a lot of books out there that promise to teach you strategies that will build your confidence, but here’s what I’ve found in my own life: Nothing has built my confidence more than living my life in alignment with who I truly am. And I’ve seen this proved true time and again with my clients.

  I spent 21 years in a career that was fine, but never lit me up. I spent 7 years married to a good man who wasn’t right for me. I spent tens of thousands of dollars to be part of a mastermind I enjoyed to a degree, but never felt like I truly belonged. In every single one of these cases, my confidence took a hit. I was the square peg trying to jam myself into the round hole, thinking there was something wrong with me because I didn’t fit.

  Today I’m in a career that sets my soul on fire…I’m married to the love of my life…and I’m part of a FAR less expensive mastermind that delivers way more value to me because it’s a fit for me and I’m a fit for the group.

  It didn’t happen overnight, but I can tell you that with every step I took towards my true self, my confidence got stronger. I see this happen in my clients, too.

  There’s something unshakable about the truth. And when we live our truth, we become unshakable. It doesn’t mean everything’s easy. It doesn’t mean there aren’t hard times. But it does mean that, the more you live in alignment with your true nature, the more you’ll experience a deep sense of peace and confidence that keeps you steady no matter what life throws at you.

• Relief: Most of us have a lot of stuff that just spins in our minds - from that sticky situation with your co-worker…to that comment your partner made…to whether to launch this program or that program in your business…to how to raise your prices or get a raise…to any number of situations that cause a degree of stress and suffering.

  Coaching gives you the time and space to get those things out of your head, speak them out loud, and work through them with a trained professional. By doing so, you free up your energy and free up space in your mind to focus on more life-enhancing pursuits, rather than on things that are sucking the life right out of you. It’s like taking that 10 pound weight off your shoulders and finding that “ahhhh!” feeling of lightness and ease!

• Direction: One of the worst feelings in the world is to feel like a ship without a rudder, bouncing around on the open ocean. We all want to feel like we’re headed somewhere meaningful…like we’re living our lives on purpose…and like we’re making a difference by using the best of who we are - our unique gifts, talents, and skills - to serve others.

  If all you know is that you’re not happy, but you’re not sure what you want, the coaching process can help you find your direction. Most importantly, it can help you find the direction that’s in alignment with your soul - that deeper part of you that knows who you really are and what you really want.

• Accountability and Support: Even when we know where we’re going and what to do, actually getting ourselves to do it is sometimes the hardest part! Add to that, the fact that - most of the time - our big plan doesn’t go as planned!
  
  Look - there’s a reason Joseph Campbell called it “The Road of Trials”. The hero’s journey is never a straight shot up and to the right. We stumble…we lose faith…our plan fails…we meet unexpected challenges. It’s hard. But walking that path with a coach by your side is a heck of a lot easier than going it alone.

  Coaching helps you stay on track…gives you the support to keep going even when it’s hard…helps you reroute if/when your plan doesn’t work..and helps you recognize and celebrate the small wins along the way so your heart stays fueled on the journey!

I think Martha Beck gives the best answer to this question. She offers this analogy: Therapy is to life coaching, what a physician is to a personal trainer. A physician takes someone who’s physically unwell and gets them back to good health. A personal trainer takes someone who’s in generally good health and helps them maximize their fitness and reach new heights in terms of their physical capabilities.

Similarly, a therapist helps someone who’s mentally unwell get back to a state of wellness. A life coach helps someone who’s generally in good mental health maximize their personal and professional potential, and live their most joyful and fulfilling life.

I’ve worked with both therapists and life coaches in my own life. During the hardest time of my life - the nervous breakdown I experienced in 2018 - I worked with both. And here’s what I can tell you about my experience:

Therapy helped me work through some trauma I had experienced in childhood that was still having a draining impact on my life. It was like working with wounds that had never been cleaned out. My therapist not only helped me clean out those old wounds, but she also helped me heal them. It was dark and messy and hard and emotionally taxing, but the process was enormously helpful in taking me from a pretty broken state back to a place of wholeness.

My life coach, on the other hand, helped me focus on the light. Like my therapist, she helped me shift many of my limiting beliefs, but in a different way. Rather than digging into the deep wounds of my past (which was necessary, but dark and hard), we did lighter exercises that were more fun and creative. She also helped me start dreaming again and seeing the possibilities in my life at a time when it was hard for me to see past the dark place I was in.

So to sum it up, in my experience, therapy helped me work through and shed the darkness, while life coaching helped me discover the light and follow that path!

No, coaching is different from both of those roles.

In mentoring, a person who’s usually senior to you and on the same or similar path will “show you the ropes”, steer you away from pitfalls, and help you move up the ladder.

A consultant is a person you’d hire for their expertise in a particular area. You look to a consultant to evaluate your current situation, recommend specific changes, design a plan to get you there, and then implement the plan to a large degree. For example, a small business might hire an HR consultant to help them create a hiring and promotion process.

Coaching is not about telling you what to do or what not to do or designing a plan for you. It’s about working with you to help you discover those answers within yourself. Only you know what your best, truest, and most fulfilling life looks like. No one else has those answers, despite what they might try to tell you!

If I have a thought or suggestion I think might be helpful to you, I will ask your permission before I share it. And, if I do share it, it will always be completely your choice to take it and consider it/do something with it, or discard it if it doesn’t feel right.

If you ask for my opinion or guidance in a particular area, I may briefly take off my coaching hat and share it with you, but I will probably ask you to first share what you already know about the topic. This is because the “a-ha’s” we discover when we dig into our own wisdom are usually the ones with the most profound and lasting effects, as opposed to when someone tells us about the discoveries they’ve made.

To get the most out of each session, you’ll want to bring a goal you want to work towards, or a topic that’s bothering you, spinning in your head, causing you to suffer in some way, or just keeping you stuck. Together, we’ll determine an objective for the session and then we’ll dive into the process. At the end of the session, we’ll circle back to the objective we set and evaluate where we landed. We’ll also discuss action steps you can take forward into the following week to move you closer to your goals and desires.

During the session, I may simply ask you a variety of thought-provoking questions that allow you to consider the issue in new ways, or I may use one of the many tools I learned in my professional training. Depending on the objective of our session, I may choose a tool that will help you tap into your imagination and creativity. Or I may choose a tool that helps you shift your perspective and find new awareness in an area that was previously unconscious. Or I may use a tool that helps you loosen the grip of a recurring and self-defeating thought.

It’s these shifts and new understandings that form new neural pathways in your mind which open up new possibilities you didn’t see before. It’s like looking at the world with one eye closed versus both eyes wide open! The world didn’t change, but your view of it did!

The process also disrupts the well-worn neural pathways that are keeping you stuck. When we can finally shed beliefs that aren’t serving us, like “I’m not worth the price I’d really like to charge for my services” or “I need to put myself last in order for my family to love me”, it’s freeing! It’s like driving your car while towing a heavy trailer behind you versus unhooking the weight and being able to hit the gas!

Each session is 60 minutes. Though, I recommend you leave a little time in your calendar before your next appointment in case we go over by a few minutes.

All coaching sessions are conducted on Zoom, so you can stay in the comfort of your own home and save the commuting time!

I leave that in your hands. Some people want to meet every week, some every other week, and some only want to meet once a month. It depends on many factors, such as how much time you feel you need to process the last session, how much time you need to implement any action steps you committed to, and what you have going on in the rest of your life. I just ask that you use your sessions within 6 months of purchasing them.

Yes, sessions need to be used within 6 months of the purchase date. However, if you have extenuating circumstances, please discuss them with me prior to the 6 month expiration date.

No, I reserve that time to be with my family, attend to my personal to-do list, and enjoy my hobbies. I generally book coaching sessions Tuesday - Thursday and use Monday and Friday for writing, creating new programs, continuing education, working on my business, and networking. However, if you cannot find a time in my calendar, please do reach out to me as I may be able to rearrange my schedule to fit you in.

There's a saying that goes, "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't."

And I think too many of us live our lives that way.

We cling to situations (jobs, relationships, etc.) marked by hum drum adjectives like "fine", "ok", and "pretty good" because we're too afraid to go for what we truly want. At times we even cling to soul-sucking circumstances because the fear of doing something different paralyzes us.

But I don't think we came into this life to live on a continuum that runs between soul-sucking and "fine". I think we came here to feel ALIVE...ACTUALIZED...and FREE!

I get the paralyzing fear. I get how hard it is to leave "fine" when there's no guarantee that "great" is on the other side. I get how hard it is to walk the "road of trials", as Joseph Campbell called it, on the way to your dream life.

And I also get that it's possible. Your dream is POSSIBLE, and I can help you get there!