Feeling powerless in your life, or in one key area of it?
Wish you could click your heels and feel strong and empowered?
Like Dorothy, I’m going to show you that you’ve had the power all along! It’s a bit more work than just clicking your heels, but the power is there if you’re willing to dig in and reveal it.
Here are 4 sources of power you can tap into right now!
- Use Your Voice
Former Secretary of State, Madeleine Albright, once said…
…“It took me quite a long time to develop a voice. And now that I have it, I am not going to be silent.”
She recognized the power that lived in her own ability to speak up.
Not only that, she recognized the lack of power she felt when she didn’t have a voice, or at least didn’t feel confident enough to use it. By saying, “And now that I have it, I’m not going to be silent”, she’s saying she refuses to go back to that place of powerlessness.
If you’re feeling powerless in a situation, one way to re-empower yourself is to use your voice to express what’s important to you.
If the situation involves another person, that might mean telling that person how you feel. Now, since you’re reading this, you have the benefit of taking time to prepare, rather than just reacting.
I have plenty of experience in launching into a tirade when I’m hurt and it usually turns into a dumpster fire. Maybe you can relate.
But the most productive conversations always take place when I take time to consider what it is I’m feeling…consciously try to use “I feel” statements, rather than “You did” statements…and when I’m open to hearing what the other person has to say.
So take a moment to calmly think through what you want to say and how you want to say it so that it has the best chance of being received by the other person. Then use your voice to speak up for yourself.
If the situation involves an argument around a position or request, take time to gather your facts. There’s a reason we say, “knowledge is power.”
So, for example, if you want to ask for a raise or a promotion, take some time to gather the reasons you feel you deserve it. Make a list of the projects you’ve worked on…the results you’ve produced…the ways you’ve added value to your team and the company…etc.
Arm yourself with every confidence-boosting reason you can think of.
If you’re arguing a position, do your research. What are the facts that support your position? Reach back into your school days and refresh your memory on how to craft a powerful argument.
Deductive reasoning…inductive reasoning…presenting a thesis with supporting evidence…thinking through the other side’s argument and why you feel it lacks merit based on facts or concrete examples.
Whether you’re arguing a political position…a position with your kid’s school board…a position with your business partner…or even something as simple as to why your company should buy better coffee for the breakroom…
…taking the time to gather your knowledge will fuel the power in your voice.
Knowledge is power…and it’s also credibility.
- Take Action
You know what misery loves more than company?
Inaction allows your thoughts, worries, and regrets to just spin in your mind and gain momentum…leaving you feeling more powerless by the minute.
Getting into action severs that pattern and jolts your mind into the present moment.
So, instead of ruminating on your feelings of powerlessness, figure out where you can take action.
Here are a couple ideas:
- Use turtle steps. This is a concept from Martha Beck that I learned in my coaching certification class. A “turtle step” is a step that’s so easy and so small, you could do it on your worst day.
So, what’s the teeniest, tiniest, easiest step you can take right now to feel just a bit more empowered? It might be doing 10 minutes of research…making one phone call…writing 3 sentences that express how you feel. You get the idea.
A turtle step might not seem like much, but it’s effective because it pulls you out of your mind…kick-starts your momentum…and gives you a boost of confidence when you complete the task.
- If you’re in a place where you can’t even figure out a turtle step, get into action in your body.
That might look like physical exercise – like a walk, yoga, kickboxing, or a weight-lifting session.
It might be just getting in the shower…shaving…doing your makeup…and dressing well.
It also might look like a nap…or a meditation where you practice coming back to the present moment over and over again.
It could also look like journaling – simply writing down every thought in your brain until there’s nothing more that comes up. It’s amazing how simply getting your thoughts out of your head and putting them down on paper can create significant relief.
Whatever it is for you, just taking some kind of physical action will make you feel a lot more powerful than ruminating ever will.
Plus, the turtle step you’re looking for might just bubble up when you’re not even searching for it.
Sometimes there’s nothing we can do.
We lose a parent…your kid struggles with addiction…our significant other leaves us.
When control is completely out of our hands, the only form of empowerment we have lies in accepting what is.
And there’s actually a lot of power in that…but it doesn’t come easy.
When it comes to accepting a heart-breaking reality, the only way out is through.
And that “through” path will probably involve some of the darkest, saddest, scariest, and lowest moments of your life.
But there is power on the other side.
Time, patience, and enormous compassion for yourself are your strongest allies on that journey.
So be kind to yourself, as if you were helping a friend through the situation.
Recognize you’re probably going to need a lot of rest and may not be as productive as you’re used to being. It takes a lot of energy to process big emotions.
And take care of yourself as best you can by eating healthy and getting even some light exercise.
If that’s not cutting it, you can always tap into my fourth empowerment strategy below.
- Get Help
Feeling powerless sucks. Feeling powerless AND alone really sucks.
So get an ally on your side, or a team of allies.
You’ll automatically feel more empowered when you’ve got people around you to buoy you up, rather than just flailing away on your own.
Here are a few sources you can go to for help, in addition to friends and family:
Books and Videos:
Your allies don’t have to be people you actually know. They can be mentors whose books and videos lift you up and give you strategies that make you feel empowered.
If you’re stuck in a situation that you simply need to accept, try the book, “Loving What Is”, by Byron Katie. She also has lots of videos you can find online.
Any books or videos by Brene Brown or Martha Beck are also rich with empowering strategies that are backed by science and research.
Groups and Masterminds:
From Meet-Up groups to 12 step programs, finding a group of people who can relate to what you’re going through can instantly make you feel more empowered.
All of a sudden, you realize it’s not just you who’s struggling with a particular area, and there’s a lot of comfort in that.
For example, I’m part of a women’s entrepreneur group and it’s a place I can go whenever I’m struggling with a problem in my business, or feeling less than powerful around making my dreams come true.
These women get it. They’re on the same journey.
It’s a safe and empathetic place to share what I’m going through. Plus, I get to help them with their struggles, too, and that feels uplifting and empowering.
So check out MeetUp[dot]com, or do a search for 12 step programs. There’s a lot more than just the well-known ones you’ve heard about, including programs for underearning, co-dependence, and people who have a loved one dealing with addiction.
If you’re feeling powerless because of some kind of trauma, or if your feelings of powerlessness have left you feeling broken, find a therapist who can help you. From EMDR to grief counseling, there’s lots of different modalities that can help you get back to a place of wellness.
If you’re generally well and feeling more stuck than broken, get a coach ===> like me!
Coaching can help you with all of the other empowerment strategies I listed, and more.
I can help you find and use the power of your voice…
…I can help you get into action and stay accountable…
…and I can help you find acceptance in those areas you can’t change.
When you hire me as your coach, you’ll get someone who sees and believes in YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL. You’ll get a guide who advocates for your voice…your worthiness…and your dreams.
And you’ll get an ally who believes you deserve a life that lights you up and sets your soul on fire!
I’d love to help you live your most empowered and fulfilling life!