Can you relate to any of these emotions right now:
Even if you’re not feeling any of these right now…
…my guess is that you’ve felt at least one of them in the last week or two, and at least one will probably come up again soon.
Feeling these emotions is a normal experience, but that doesn’t make them any easier to go through!
😫 They suck the energy right out of us…steal our joy in life…and hijack our attention away from all the light and love in our lives.
The bad news is that there are lots of things in life that can cause us to feel one of these tough emotions.
⭐️ But here’s the good news: We have 100% control over, what I think, is the biggest contributor…
===> a lack of boundaries either with ourselves or with other people.
Why is that the biggest contributor to feeling those craptastic emotions?
🛑 Because boundaries define what’s ok with us and what’s not ok.
Not only do they protect our values, they also protect our energy…our time…our autonomy…and our sense of safety and security.
Having clear boundaries allows us to create trusting, healthy relationships with other people and with ourselves.
👉 That’s why, when we violate our own boundaries, or allow other people to do so, we can end up feeling depleted, used, overwhelmed, lost, angry, resentful, and ungrounded – like a house knocked off its foundation.
But setting and keeping boundaries is easier said than done.
In my opinion, it’s the hardest part about living in integrity, which means living true to who you are and consistently having your own back.
😬 Setting boundaries often means having difficult conversations with the important people in your life. It can also mean having a difficult conversation with yourself (hello self-trust!).
Boundaries require you to do hard things, like say ‘no’…set limits…and risk disappointing people, hurting people, or rocking the boat with your family, friends, boss, work colleagues, or clients.
And that’s terrifying!
❓ You know what’s even more terrifying, though?
===> Living out the rest of your days in a soul-sucking situation that you know isn’t right for you.
If you’re ready to make some changes in this area…
…then I want to invite you to join me and a group of compassionate, courageous women tomorrow, August 9th, at my next Bolder Women meeting where we’ll focus on Setting Better Boundaries.
💛 If you’re in or around the Boulder, CO, area, you can join us in person by going here: https://www.meetup.com/bolder-women/events/295049144
💛 And if you’re outside the area, or just can’t make it in the evening, you can join our afternoon Zoom meeting here: https://www.meetup.com/bolder-women/events/295048527
If that’s not your jam, then take some time to do the work on your own.
1️⃣ Pull out a sheet of paper and jot down the answers to these questions:
❓ Who or what causes stress or discomfort in my life?
❓ What interactions do I have with other people on a regular or semi-regular basis that exhaust me?
❓ What takes my energy, rather than gives me energy? (think of people, activities, responsibilities, your own behaviors or habits, and areas where you want to take action or make a change but you’re not doing it.)
2️⃣ Now review your answers and consider the following:
❓ Where do you most need better boundaries? With yourself? Or with other people? If it’s with other people, who?
❓ Where in your life is it hardest to set boundaries? What makes it hard?
❓ What’s hard about not setting boundaries in this area of your life? In other words, what stress or discomfort are you experiencing due to the lack of boundaries?
❓ As you look at both sides – i.e. setting boundaries or not setting boundaries – which one is more painful to live with? Why?
❓ What are one or two boundaries you could set that would create more ease and flow in your life?
❓ Imagine you’ve set these boundaries and you’re consistent in honoring them. How would your life be different?
I hope by reflecting on these questions, you get a sense for how better boundaries can contribute to your own well-being.
As you practice having your own back (and it will take practice in my experience), the sense of security and self-trust you gain will start to outweigh any discomfort you feel in setting the boundaries in the first place.
Cheering you on!
P.S. Need some 1:1 help with setting and honoring your boundaries? I’d love to work with you! Setup a free Meet & Greet call with me to see how I can help you find more ease and flow in your life ===> https://soulfireshift.com/coaching
P.P.S. Seeing this post after August 9th? Come check out my other Bolder Women events here: https://www.meetup.com/bolder-women