To me, this quote from Annie Dillard is equal parts “Duh”…”Wow”…and “Oh Crap!”.
😐 “Duh”, because the statement is obvious.
😮 “Wow” because, while it’s obvious, it’s also profound.
😬 And “Oh crap!” because it makes me take stock of how I *am* spending my days, and ask myself if I’m on track for how I want to be spending my life.
Last week I wrote about boundaries and how they help us honor our values…time…energy…autonomy…and sense of safety and security.
👉 In other words, they allow us to preserve our sense of self and have our own back.
They’re also a critical factor in being able to turn the bold dream we have for our life into a reality, which is what my business is all about.
🔥 Without boundaries, it’s too easy to spend our days making other people’s priorities and dreams a reality, while losing sight of our own.
I also talked last week about how hard it is to set boundaries with both ourselves and with other people. But what might be even harder is keeping them and staying consistent.
Here’s why:
Consistently choosing to honor yourself over the many influences you face is hugely risky.
💔 People may not like you. They may misunderstand you and assign labels to you that are mean and unfair.
💔 You might get kicked out of your peer group…or upset your boss…or lose that client.
💔 Your family might be disappointed or hurt or angry.
💔 Same with your friends.
💔 You might get crucified on social media. People might tell you you suck or be offended by you or unfriend you altogether.
💔 You might get told you’re too inflexible or too selfish or too callous or too brash by people you really care about.
💔 Your own mind will spin bigger and scarier stories about why you should stay small…stay silent…and stay compliant.
💔 It will give you a million reasons why you can’t and shouldn’t do the big thing your soul is calling you to do.
And all of that is REALLY tough because we’re hard-wired for safety and we’re hardwired to belong.
🔥 And yet, still we must muster up the courage to stick to what we know is true for us.
👉 Because abandoning ourselves over and over again – our truth, our dreams, our needs, our desires – is simply death by a thousand cuts.
Our soul slowly withers away and the fire in our belly turns to barely breathing embers.
When we live our lives staying true to ourselves, though, we feel WHOLE!
We feel solid, worthy, and deeply rooted.
💥 Our soul feels free and that fire in our belly IGNITES from the surge of oxygen it’s getting!
We can survive the pain of our own fear or of losing those who choose not to accept us because we have the indomitable inner-strength that comes from belonging to ourselves.
Even if other people don’t like you…or you get trolled by the energy vampires of the interwebs…or the mean voice in your head tells you you’re ruining everything…
💛 …the comfort of knowing you’re honoring what’s true in your soul will be worth it.
So here’s your final assignment when it comes to boundaries:
Each time one of life’s challenges asks you if you still want to honor them, and your mind asks that same old question, “Wouldn’t it be easier to just give in?”, ask your soul…
…”How do you want to be spending your days? Because, of course, it’s also how you’re spending your life.”
🔥 P.S. Are you ready to say “YES!” to that big thing your soul is calling you to do? I’d love to support you!
To find out how my 1:1 coaching program can help you make The Big Leap, setup a free Meet & Greet call with me here ===> https://soulfireshift.com/coaching
I also run a free MeetUp group for bold women, just like you! Join us here ===> https://www.meetup.com/bolder-women