I’ve got a question for you:
❓ What’s the one thing that’s had the biggest influence on shaping your life, and continues to shape it today?
Your parents? Where you grew up? The experiences you’ve been through?
While all of those undoubtedly had a significant impact on your life, there’s *one factor* that supersedes all of them:
===> the stories you tell yourself about those influences.
To illustrate my point, I’m going to use a true story relayed by the motivational speaker, Earl Nightingale, in one of his audio recordings.
It goes like this:
🍺🍸🥃 Two sons of a raging alcoholic father were interviewed by a psychologist. One son was a straight arrow; had his life together and was enjoying the success of living a generally responsible life. The other son was a hopeless alcoholic like his Dad.
Both sons were asked this question in separate interviews: Why do you think you turned out the way you did? And to the psychologist’s surprise, both sons gave the exact same answer:
“What would you expect when you have a father like mine?”
🎯 The point is this: we think it’s the circumstances in our lives that led us to where we are today, but in reality, it’s often our thoughts and stories about those circumstances.
While that can be tough medicine to swallow, here’s the good news:
===> stories can be rewritten.
😩 We all have disempowering stories we tell ourselves. Whether it’s around money…relationships…our careers…our health…or some other key area, we have a story on repeat about why we haven’t achieved and can’t achieve the level of success or harmony we’d like.
And that story sits in our mind as truth. But is it really?
☠️ You see, the brain hates uncertainty and not knowing. Combine that with our shame and blame culture, and you’ve got a deadly combination!
So when it comes to figuring out why you ended up in an undesirable circumstance, your brain will search for a story that explains it and tell you that it’s absolutely true.
Moreover, that story will probably involve shaming and blaming yourself, someone else, or both for putting you in that situation.
And while some accountability may be warranted, shame and blame never turned anyone around from floundering to flourishing! It only creates more feelings of victimization and disempowerment.
❓ So what do you do?
===> You consciously create a new story.
One that’s as true or truer than the disempowering story you’re telling yourself. One that your brain can believe.
Because while it may be true that you’ve made some mistakes…or that life has handed you some sh*t sandwiches, and you’re not exactly thriving in some area of your life…
…my bet is that it’s *also true* that you’re gaining the kind of invaluable wisdom and experience that only comes from attending The School of Hard Knocks.
🔥 And it’s that wisdom and experience that will eventually lead you to the thriving place you want to be!
If you’re ready to take a fresh look at the story you’ve been telling yourself that’s keeping you from the success and harmony you deserve, then I hope you’ll join me at my next Bolder Women meeting: Getting Unstuck from Your Story.
🧐 In this meeting, you’ll take the time to put your story under a microscope and look at it from a new perspective. You’ll then have the opportunity to dream about the new story you want to tell going forward. (I’ll have a funsheet to help walk you through this part!)
After some time for personal introspection, we’ll break into small groups and discuss powerful questions that help us create even bigger shifts around the stories we tell ourselves.
We meet both online and in person, so whether you’re local to Boulder, CO, or not, you can join the fun!
Get all the details and RSVP here ===> https://www.meetup.com/bolder-women/events
Not your jam? No worries!
Just take a few minutes on your own to write a short description of the story you’re telling yourself that’s keeping you stuck, and the new, more empowering story you’d like to tell going forward.
📝 Then journal on these questions:
❓ How does your old story make you feel? What happens in your body when you tell this story?
❓ What’s the benefit you’ve received from holding on to this story?
❓ What’s not possible in your life when you believe this story? What’s it costing you?
❓ How does your new story make you feel? What happens in your body when you tell this story?
❓ Why is this new story important to you? What would be possible in your life if you fully believed this story?
❓ What practices, tools, or resources can you use to help you make your new story your reality?
💩 => 🤩 I hope this exercise helps you start shifting your story from craptastic to fantastic!
⭐️ Because here’s what I know: the only way to live an empowered life is to start telling yourself an empowered story.
Cheering You On!
P.S. Want my personal help in shifting your story? Members of my MeetUp group can book 1:1 coaching sessions with me at 60% off my normal single session price! Find out more here ===> https://soulfireshift.com/bolder-women