The first time I saw this quote from Brene Brown, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I spent so much of my life trying to fit in. In fact, I spent a decade working in a company where I had to do this almost every day.
Then I spent the next few years trying to mold myself to fit into various entrepreneur groups that I felt I “should” be part of…
😬 …where I felt it would mean something about me if I didn’t fit into them.
Here’s what I can tell you from my own experience:
The problem with trying to fit into a particular group or environment is…
1️⃣ You don’t even notice the damage it’s doing to you until it’s too late.
2️⃣ It will eventually suck your self-confidence dry and leave you not knowing who you are.
3️⃣ People pick up on your discomfort and lack of authenticity and that makes you feel even more like you don’t belong.
4️⃣ You’ll become disconnected from your true self after ignoring it for so many years, and it will take you years…a lot of work…and possibly a major breakdown before you find that person again.
Here’s what I know now: the desire to fit in is natural. It’s part of our brain’s survival mechanism.
Like trying to jam a square peg into a round hole, we’ll always be tempted to shave off edges of ourselves in order to fit into the space around us.
🔥 The way to avoid that temptation is to know yourself. Know your values…your boundaries…your likes and dislikes. Know where you’re going…what you want from life…and what you refuse to settle for.
When you’re clear about who you are and you’re secure in your own skin, it’s so much easier to stand alone.
👉 I don’t know if it ever gets comfortable, but you do find a point where it’s harder to abandon yourself than it is to feel like an outcast.
If you’re in a relationship, a job, a business, a group, or anything else where you feel uncomfortable being who you really are, then please get out as soon as possible.
😊 The faster you do, the less damage will be done…and the sooner you can start living a life that actually fills your tank…inspires you…and brings the kind of peace to your soul that only comes when you live your life in alignment with who you really are.
If you’re looking for support as you make this transition (it’s often not an easy one), I’ve got two ways I can help:
✅ 1:1 Coaching
As a trained and certified Life Coach, I can help you identify what’s next for you and guide you in building a plan to get there. Set up a free Meet & Greet call with me to find out more ===> https://soulfireshift.com/coaching
✅ Free Group Coaching
My free MeetUp group, Bolder Women, is all about helping women walk the courageous path toward making their dreams a reality.
It takes knowing yourself…it takes guts…and it takes bold choices that don’t always feel safe or comfortable. But when you’re surrounded by other women on the same path, it’s like a tide that lifts all the boats!
Join the group here ===> https://www.meetup.com/bolder-women and mark your calendar for the 2nd Wednesday of every month. We meet from 11:30am – 1:30pm on Zoom, and from 6:00pm – 8:00pm in person here in Boulder, CO.
Cheering you on!